Review - Hostel Part II

Coming in, I was absolutely positively sure that Hostel Part II was going to out-class the original film in every single way. Violence, storyline, production value, it was gonna up the ante in every way possible. There was no doubt in my mind. How could I be so sure you ask? Simple question with a simple answer: because the title not only uses the long antiquated yet very classy "part" in its title, it also uses the roman numeral II instead of the more common 2. That is the watermark of a film with pure class, like The Godfather Part II or Weekend at Bernie's II.

I've made no bones about it. I am an Eli Roth fan. A huge one. I love his films and I believe he's one of the more intelligent and charismatic directors around today. I like directors that actually have personalities. It's disappointing to see some people's films and then when they start talking they tend to stare at their shoes. Much like his apparent mentor Tarantino, Roth has become somewhat of a vocal mouthpiece for genre filmmaking. When I was supposed to see him in a panel discussion only to learn that he canceled due to illness, I cursed the heavens. Then of course I praised the heavens after learning that his last minute replacement was the Rider of Strong. And all was well in the universe.

Okay, okay, so how was the movie. Well, as you may have noticed, not only do I comment on the actual film itself, but also my theater experience. These experiences can vary from orgasmic (Alamo Drafthouse) to downright headache-inducing (Chautauqua Mall) and this was one of those times. Not 60 seconds into the film, somebody's phone rings. Now, I'm not an unreasonable man, so when somebody's phone rings in a movie theater all will be forgiven if said person discreetly and quickly turns off the phone, minimizing the disruption. Fine, it's a mistake everybody makes at one point. But a recent trend I've been noticing in my local shithouse, don't give a fuck about the art form movie theaters, several mongoloid morons actually take the call! They will answer the damn phone and have a loud fucking conversation while a theater full of people are trying to watch a damn movie they paid 9 dollars for. This needs to stop. My movie theaters are being taken over by white trash, mouth-breathing, pants with stupid straps-wearing, "can you believe Ozzfest is free?", "this is my life and I'll do what I want, I don't give a fuck", Britney Spears-mentality embracing, Dubya-loving retards. FUCK THIS SHIT! FUCK THE NEW WORLD ORDER! FUCKING THE GOVERNMENT! FUCKING ANARCHY!

Alright alright, let's get back on track. How's the fuckin' movie? Well, within the first half hour or so I was a tad wary. Things started to look really familiar for a long time. We see some girls on vacation for some reason, somebody talks them into going to Slovakia, they hop on the first train. At one point, they ask about where they should stay and suddenly DANT DANT DANT! They go to the HOSTEL! At this point I was terrified. Not because of the actual movie, but because the movie I was highly anticipating was turning into nothing more than a carbon copy of the original. Things were not looking very good. However, what I wasn't noticing was that while I was being diverted by the good-looking girls heading for destruction, there was something else going on. We saw something else. In the first Hostel film, the danger is still a bit of a mystery. Eli Roth would have been foolish to try and rebuild that mystery and instead gives us complete disclosure on what's going on inside the operation. We get to see how the people killing people industry works. We see the bidding, the sales, but most of all, we see the customers. Oh boy, do we ever. Hostel Part II takes what was probably the creepiest scene of the first film and expands it into a whole subplot. I'm not very sure if Hostel Part II is actually a sequel or more of an improved remake. Yes, improved remake. I know it sounds like an oxymoron, but it's possible.

Now the violence. Some people are going to see this as a negative, but the violence in Hostel Part II was much less of a centerpiece than the first film, which I thought was great. Granted, this film is probably just as if not more violent than the first, but there is much less relishing of the violent moment. The deaths are quicker and not as drawn out, but still gruesome and effective as hell. While some gorehounds will be disappointed, all I can say is that graphic violence is merely one color a filmmaker has in their palette and that even the most graphic horror films such as Cannibal Holocaust have things such as story and characters to back it up. Also, grow the fuck up.

So, while I was apprehensive at first about where this film was going, it managed to pay off big time. Things get nice and sick and once again there is no happy ending for all involved. Eli Roth has grown as a director in such a short period of time. His attention to detail and changes in aesthetic are clearly evident. And I must say thank you very much for bringing back the Desk Clerk Jedi, quite possibly the creepiest character in the film, and he's not even an actor. I like Hostel Part II, quite possibly the greatest movie ever to carry the "Part II" tag besides Deep Throat Sluts Meet the Backdoor Babes Part II.

Rating: \m/

And as a video pick of the week, how about the Minor Threat Live DVD? Take a trip back to the time when punk was supposed to mean something, before it was commercially diluted by greedy Madison Avenue slime and punk traitors who wanted to cash in on their counter-culture of choice.